i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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