Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
