I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
