I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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