You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
