I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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