Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
