My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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