is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
