I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
