when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have post one night stand depression
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
