The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
