Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
