You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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