Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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