He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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