How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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