Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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