It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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