I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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