If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
