I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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