Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
