Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
