Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
