do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
