Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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