Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
