The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
