So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
