Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
