Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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