Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
