I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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