is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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