In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
