I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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