Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
