dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
