Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
