so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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