Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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