I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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