Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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