oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
