We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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