i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize