no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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