yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
