Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
