billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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