My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
