Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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