and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
