kristin has been a bad kristin
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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