doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Randomize
