she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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