I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
