You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
