Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
