Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
