Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
