More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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