What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
