I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
