Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
